Now that I have your attention,
ALL OF MY CREDITS, THE FOURTH INSTALLMENT!
I'm going to be releasing the fourth episode of All of My Credits in parts, just because this is going to be a big undertaking. Hopefully I'll make it into a radio-type recording when I'm finished
(The screen lights up on an early Frontierland Hub. There are no buildings, only scaffolds and rusty cranes. A lone narrator stands in the middle of the stage, leaning on a pedestal that contains a shining key.)
Narrator: In A.D. 2003, war was beginning.
(Two people come out from behind a crane: a captain and a cowboy. A small, red light on the middle of the cowboys belt lights up.)
Captain: What happen?
Cowboy: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Captain: What!!
(A pirate steps out from behind a scaffold. He takes a button out of his back pocket and presses it. There is an isolated explosion, and the captain and the cowboy are flung offstage.)
Pirate: Finally, it is time. The Key to the Kingdom shall be mine!
(He runs to the pedestal and grasps for the key, only to be hit by a red laser beam. He is thrust offstage. An astronaut steps out from a scaffold and runs to the key.)
Astronaut: All these years of waiting and planning have finally paid off! The Key shall be mine!
(The astronaut grabs the key and holds it above his head.)
Astronaut: With this key, I will rule the flourishing Virtual Magic Kingdom with the might of 1,000 staff members!
(An explosion of fireworks goes off under his feet, as if by magic. The astronaut flies upwards, screaming, and the key gently floats to the ground. The narrator grabs it in mid-air and puts it back on the pedestal. A sorcerer emerges from behind a crane, takes the Key, and runs offstage. Fade to black.)
Narrator: And now, in 2008, war shall begin again.
(The astronaut from the previous scene hurtles down from space and hits Cardinals hammock. The astronaut has been singed from the fireworks and his suit has fallen into disrepair.)
Astronaut: Oh, I am so sorry! I was doomed to orbit around the kingdom for five years by an evil sorcerer who wanted to dominate the world.
Cardinal: Well, next time you fall victim to the cruel intentions of a power-hungry wizard, listen to my advice:
Astronaut: Advice? I could use some advice!
Cardinal (angrily): STAY AWAY FROM MY VACATION SPOT!
Narrator: Ouch.
Astronaut: Well then, I guess that I wont tell you about the Key to the Kingdom thats hidden underneath the Frontierland Hub!
Cardinal (snickering): I think its a little too late for that. Key to the Kingdom, sure!
Astronaut: Dont believe me? Ill show you proof!
(The astronaut takes off his gloves to reveal the outline of the key burned into his palm.)
Cardinal: Wow. You held that thing tightly.
Astronaut: That key gives its wielder the power to righteously rule the Kingdom. The sorcerer who took it from me was banned 3 years ago, so the Key has returned to its original place (He continues to babble on.)
Cardinal: Cool. If you dont mind, then, Ill begin my dream sequence.
(Cardinals dream sequence begins. A bunch of boys and girls are sitting in a circle inside of a burning classroom. They are wearing Haunted Mansion suits and top hats, and are forced to sing a never ending loop of I Feel Pretty. Around them, statues of Cardinal are being erected and worshipped. A grown man at the back of the room writes I will not make any more podcasts several times on the blackboard in the back of the room. The sequence ends in less than two minutes..)
Cardinal: Okay, then! Lets go rule the world. What did you say your name was?
Astronaut: Oh, I am a robot that was used to defend Habbo Hotels City in the Sky. I am A Superior Trooper Rounding Our Northern Aerial Utopia of Tomorrow. My friends call me ASTRONAUT.
Cardinal (taking out a script that says All of My Credits #4 in big bold letters across the front page): Apparently, so do our writers.
Astronaut: Dont you mean, writer?
Cardinal (sighing): Yeah.
(There is an awkward silence.)
Cardinal: Lets go get the key. (Grabbing the narrators arm) Come on, Evoulie, dont just stand there!
Narrator Evoulie: Youre not supposed to notice me!
Cardinal: Shut up and help me conquer the world!
(The three run towards the Castle Forecourt, where Aengus is dancing inferno. At the forecourt! At the forecourt, yeah, well he danced on inferno at the forecourt.)
Evoulie: Hi Aengus! Were going to go take over the world! Wanna come?
Aengus: Take over the world. Are you kidding me?
Evoulie (with growing fervor): Nope! We got this robot thingy from three years ago when everyone was fighting over this magic key in the old Frontierland Hub and he almost got killed but he flew around the Kingdom in his spacesuit and hes got this really weird mark on his palm from when the key was burned into it and he fell on Cardinals hammock and Cardinal got all mad and he was like, This is my vacation spot! and the robot was like, Dude, I couldve died! and Cardinal got all, Dont ruin my vacation! and then the robot was all, You can take over the world! and then Cardinal was like, Come on Evoulie. Were going to rule the world. and I was like, OMG lets tell Aengus.
(Evoulie looks around him to notice that everyone has fallen asleep.)
Evoulie: Who wants pie?
(Everybody immediately wakes up and demands pie. Aengus retreats to the back of the Partners Statue and a dream sequence starts. It is a cold, dark dungeon loaded with microphone and camera equipment. Small children dressed in headdresses and flip flops are chained to the ceiling and are forced to sing The VMK Rap for the newest edition of the podcast. Babies are forced to listen to Hosts Revenge in their sleep: they are being conditioned to become the future staff members of Today in VMK.)
(The dream sequence closes and the screen returns to Evoulie explaining a shortage of pie to Cardinal and Astronaut, while Aengus quietly sneaks into Fantasyland.)
Evoulie (angrily): Well, they only sell Turkey Leg Carts and Churro carts, so I can get you either a churro or a turkey leg.
Astronaut (groveling at Evoulies knees): But we want pie!
Evoulie: Go make a pie cart, then!
(Astronaut and Cardinal exchange glances and run into Fantasyland.)
(The following commercial plays. A bunch of kids are playing in a luscious green meadow. An offstage voice is heard.)
Announcer: Hey, kids! Do you love VMK?
Kids (happily): Yay, VMK!
Annoucer: Well, guess what!
Kids (even happier): What?
Announcer: VMK will be closing on May, 21!
Kids: NO!
Annoucer: Yes! But whenever Disney closes a door, it opens a window!
Kids: Oh!
Announcer: Yes! Starting May 22, you can all play in the virtual world of The Jonas Brothers Online!
(There is a pause.)
Kids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The plants, including the grass, in the meadow die and the kids run into Aengus dream sequence. They willingly chain themselves up to the ceiling and begin to sing the VMK Rap.)
END OF ACT ONE
ALL OF MY CREDITS, THE FOURTH INSTALLMENT!
I'm going to be releasing the fourth episode of All of My Credits in parts, just because this is going to be a big undertaking. Hopefully I'll make it into a radio-type recording when I'm finished
(The screen lights up on an early Frontierland Hub. There are no buildings, only scaffolds and rusty cranes. A lone narrator stands in the middle of the stage, leaning on a pedestal that contains a shining key.)
Narrator: In A.D. 2003, war was beginning.
(Two people come out from behind a crane: a captain and a cowboy. A small, red light on the middle of the cowboys belt lights up.)
Captain: What happen?
Cowboy: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Captain: What!!
(A pirate steps out from behind a scaffold. He takes a button out of his back pocket and presses it. There is an isolated explosion, and the captain and the cowboy are flung offstage.)
Pirate: Finally, it is time. The Key to the Kingdom shall be mine!
(He runs to the pedestal and grasps for the key, only to be hit by a red laser beam. He is thrust offstage. An astronaut steps out from a scaffold and runs to the key.)
Astronaut: All these years of waiting and planning have finally paid off! The Key shall be mine!
(The astronaut grabs the key and holds it above his head.)
Astronaut: With this key, I will rule the flourishing Virtual Magic Kingdom with the might of 1,000 staff members!
(An explosion of fireworks goes off under his feet, as if by magic. The astronaut flies upwards, screaming, and the key gently floats to the ground. The narrator grabs it in mid-air and puts it back on the pedestal. A sorcerer emerges from behind a crane, takes the Key, and runs offstage. Fade to black.)
Narrator: And now, in 2008, war shall begin again.
(The astronaut from the previous scene hurtles down from space and hits Cardinals hammock. The astronaut has been singed from the fireworks and his suit has fallen into disrepair.)
Astronaut: Oh, I am so sorry! I was doomed to orbit around the kingdom for five years by an evil sorcerer who wanted to dominate the world.
Cardinal: Well, next time you fall victim to the cruel intentions of a power-hungry wizard, listen to my advice:
Astronaut: Advice? I could use some advice!
Cardinal (angrily): STAY AWAY FROM MY VACATION SPOT!
Narrator: Ouch.
Astronaut: Well then, I guess that I wont tell you about the Key to the Kingdom thats hidden underneath the Frontierland Hub!
Cardinal (snickering): I think its a little too late for that. Key to the Kingdom, sure!
Astronaut: Dont believe me? Ill show you proof!
(The astronaut takes off his gloves to reveal the outline of the key burned into his palm.)
Cardinal: Wow. You held that thing tightly.
Astronaut: That key gives its wielder the power to righteously rule the Kingdom. The sorcerer who took it from me was banned 3 years ago, so the Key has returned to its original place (He continues to babble on.)
Cardinal: Cool. If you dont mind, then, Ill begin my dream sequence.
(Cardinals dream sequence begins. A bunch of boys and girls are sitting in a circle inside of a burning classroom. They are wearing Haunted Mansion suits and top hats, and are forced to sing a never ending loop of I Feel Pretty. Around them, statues of Cardinal are being erected and worshipped. A grown man at the back of the room writes I will not make any more podcasts several times on the blackboard in the back of the room. The sequence ends in less than two minutes..)
Cardinal: Okay, then! Lets go rule the world. What did you say your name was?
Astronaut: Oh, I am a robot that was used to defend Habbo Hotels City in the Sky. I am A Superior Trooper Rounding Our Northern Aerial Utopia of Tomorrow. My friends call me ASTRONAUT.
Cardinal (taking out a script that says All of My Credits #4 in big bold letters across the front page): Apparently, so do our writers.
Astronaut: Dont you mean, writer?
Cardinal (sighing): Yeah.
(There is an awkward silence.)
Cardinal: Lets go get the key. (Grabbing the narrators arm) Come on, Evoulie, dont just stand there!
Narrator Evoulie: Youre not supposed to notice me!
Cardinal: Shut up and help me conquer the world!
(The three run towards the Castle Forecourt, where Aengus is dancing inferno. At the forecourt! At the forecourt, yeah, well he danced on inferno at the forecourt.)
Evoulie: Hi Aengus! Were going to go take over the world! Wanna come?
Aengus: Take over the world. Are you kidding me?
Evoulie (with growing fervor): Nope! We got this robot thingy from three years ago when everyone was fighting over this magic key in the old Frontierland Hub and he almost got killed but he flew around the Kingdom in his spacesuit and hes got this really weird mark on his palm from when the key was burned into it and he fell on Cardinals hammock and Cardinal got all mad and he was like, This is my vacation spot! and the robot was like, Dude, I couldve died! and Cardinal got all, Dont ruin my vacation! and then the robot was all, You can take over the world! and then Cardinal was like, Come on Evoulie. Were going to rule the world. and I was like, OMG lets tell Aengus.
(Evoulie looks around him to notice that everyone has fallen asleep.)
Evoulie: Who wants pie?
(Everybody immediately wakes up and demands pie. Aengus retreats to the back of the Partners Statue and a dream sequence starts. It is a cold, dark dungeon loaded with microphone and camera equipment. Small children dressed in headdresses and flip flops are chained to the ceiling and are forced to sing The VMK Rap for the newest edition of the podcast. Babies are forced to listen to Hosts Revenge in their sleep: they are being conditioned to become the future staff members of Today in VMK.)
(The dream sequence closes and the screen returns to Evoulie explaining a shortage of pie to Cardinal and Astronaut, while Aengus quietly sneaks into Fantasyland.)
Evoulie (angrily): Well, they only sell Turkey Leg Carts and Churro carts, so I can get you either a churro or a turkey leg.
Astronaut (groveling at Evoulies knees): But we want pie!
Evoulie: Go make a pie cart, then!
(Astronaut and Cardinal exchange glances and run into Fantasyland.)
(The following commercial plays. A bunch of kids are playing in a luscious green meadow. An offstage voice is heard.)
Announcer: Hey, kids! Do you love VMK?
Kids (happily): Yay, VMK!
Annoucer: Well, guess what!
Kids (even happier): What?
Announcer: VMK will be closing on May, 21!
Kids: NO!
Annoucer: Yes! But whenever Disney closes a door, it opens a window!
Kids: Oh!
Announcer: Yes! Starting May 22, you can all play in the virtual world of The Jonas Brothers Online!
(There is a pause.)
Kids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The plants, including the grass, in the meadow die and the kids run into Aengus dream sequence. They willingly chain themselves up to the ceiling and begin to sing the VMK Rap.)
END OF ACT ONE